Starting a new relationship is exhilarating and nerve-wracking. The thrill of romance, spending time with the person you feel deeply for, is immensely satisfying. On the other hand, the foundation for this relationship is still in its formative stages. As you all are navigating relationship life, you must not forget about yourself in the process.

Prioritizing your mental health during this period is essential. The whirlwind of emotions can become a trap in a budding relationship if you cannot develop healthy ways to manage your thoughts and the relationship. Here are tips to guard your mental well-being while dating,

Manage Your Expectations

Every person you meet is not your life partner. You have to know that going in. The storybook love at first sight thing is RARE! Approach your dating rationally and to a point logically as well. It is easy to daydream and build castles in the air about your new relationship. I have done this too, and this is part of the problem. More often than not, we fall in love with the idea we have fabricated in our minds when that may not be the reality we are living in. Get to know the person first while keeping your options open. Make decisions beyond their perfect smile and the fantasy in your mind.

Have Fun

Life is hard, if being with this person is easy enjoy it. Embrace the feeling of like/love - the butterflies in your stomach and warm fuzzy feelings. Stare, hold hands, and talk about nothing. When you are happy with someone your brain releases Oxytocin, the love hormone.

Avoid Personalizing Rejection

Rejection is a part of dating and a normal part of living. if you are not ready to accept that now may not be the time to date. You will not be perfect for everyone and everyone will not be perfect for you and I promise that is ok. Also, keep in mind I’m not saying rejection will be easy I am saying while it does suck it serves a purpose. It frees you from what does not belong to you so that there is more space for what is aligned with you to enter your life. Avoid personalizing rejection. Or creating a narrative that the rejection says something about you as a person when it means you were just not compatible.

Remain Logical

Oxytocin regulates trust levels, empathy, positive communication, and bonding cues. Thus, your biases toward your love interest increase because of this hormone's influence. Oxytocin lasts for about six months before you can become rational about your interest. Avoid making permanent decisions during this period. You may make a mistake when you rush into things. Make sure you are staying grounded in reality. Take your new partner to meet you, friends. Let them interact with your love interest. They are not in love. Therefore, their perception may be more rational. Furthermore, avoid making decisions out of desperation. You have a lifetime to find love. Do not be in such a hurry that you take the scraps when waiting could get you the whole meal.

A few final things to remember while dating:

Remember to think do I like this person instead of focusing on if they like you.
Actions over words because people can and will say anything.
Do not enter the relationship based on potential. Enter the relationship based on the facts of the present.

Make good choices and protect your peace and mental health at all costs.

Money. When you see this word what do you immediately think about? Does your mind go to the lack thereof or are you blessed and you think about the surplus you have? I am willing to bet majority of people think about what they are missing. The unfortunate reality is folks are really living check to check. However what is even sadder is we never think about what we really have. For those of us blessed enough to be in a marriage we are super rich even if it is not financially.

We are blessed to have someone in the fight with us. Even if we are living under a bridge as a married couple you are not in the cold alone. Of course I do not want you living under a bridge I am simply getting my point across. You are not alone so you are not poor. Come one we have all seen the sappy movie where the rich person is grumpy because he or she does not have friends. Or they say something like all the money and fame in the world means nothing without the one you love. It is true. Think about when you have a bad day at work then you see your spouse and they give you a hug, pat on the but, handshake, or whatever you two do. Suddenly things are not as bad right?

So how did you answer the money question did you think about what you did not have or is money not a big issue for you? Now think about how you let money affect your marriage. Don’t be ashamed I have been there too, Money was tight and so was I (all pun intended). I had a nasty attitude, and honestly looking back I am not sure how my husband put up with me. I did not mean to have an attitude I was stressed.

If I am being honest I was pissed. Pissed because there was a struggle and we both worked full time jobs. Which if you are reading is not my husband’s fault but like most people we hurt the ones closest to us when we are hurt. This, however, is a rant for a different post. Anyway I was allowing our finances to affect our romances and this is a HUGE mistake. Remember the vow says richer or poorer.

Think about when you argue with your husband about the sock he left on the bathroom floor. Are you really mad about the sock or are you mad about the pending light bill because you do not see the money in the checking account. Money can put so much stress on a marriage. It can be hard to keep the romance alive.

Speaking of romance remember when it was fresh and new? Remember when you got butterflies in your stomach, obsessed over what you would wear? The romance was alive and well during this time. Neither of you thought about the money you spent on your courtship. When money is flowing and bills are paid it is so easy to say I love you. It is even easier to take some of that money and go somewhere nice. Or what about when the money is flowing and we say money's not everything. Which is true but please be honest with yourself money is a tool. A mandatory tool we use daily to meet our needs.

If we are not careful we can allow the lack of money and other things to overshadow what we actually do have. We get so caught up on what is missing we never see what is there. Then we let this same mentality creep into our marriage. We start looking at the struggle as if it is our spouses fault. We will assume for the sake of this post it is not their fault and situations just aligned and created the perfect financial storm. This is not the time to throw stones, call names, and pull apart. It is actually the time to pull closer. It may seem hard but it is in this moment you need to start dating again.

I know what you are thinking. We just talked about financial hardship and you want me to date. Well the answer is yes. Just because you may be on financial hard times does not mean your romance should be on hard times. Despite whatever your bank account says it is imperative to keep the romance alive. Ensuring your romantic life is doing well can often help you take your mind of the finances. What I am not saying is blow all your money on one dinner. I am saying consider some budget friendly options like the following:

Indoor Picnic- this is my favorite!!! So you already have groceries in your house whip up something good and lay it all out for him on the floor with a blanket. Now if you have children wait until they go to sleep. If you have some extra money splurge on a cheap bottle of wine. Once you pour it in the glass it all taste the same, and he will appreciate the thought.
I am not a complete fan of the term but Netflix and Chill.- Too make it fun, watch something you have never seen before, and even if you have on comfy pajamas, do NOT I repeat do NOT have you hair tied up. This is a date remember no sleep scarves allowed. Also try to sit up. If you two lay down you may end up asleep. Now if you lay down and other things happen then I say it’s a winning situation.
Walk in the park. You and your honey can go out enjoy the weather, and really reconnect. You two can talk and laugh like you used to before life happened and things got so serious.
Ice cream dates are super cheap as well. You two can share a cup and instead of saying it is because of money use this time to sit close and feed one another and simply reconnect.
Free concert in the park. - Depending on where you live there may be some free events in the part you two can go on. Look in your local paper or online because who is still reading the paper, and find out what your city has to offer in the entertainment department.

4 Ways to Protect Your Mental Health While Dating

Finance and Romance- 5 Budget Friendly Date Ideas