Balancing Business and Family

Entrepreneurship among women is at an all time high. I personally think this is great and believe we as women possess all it takes to run the world. However before we go off and conquer the world we have to make sure home is taken care of.

You do not want to lose your marriage or place unneeded stress on your family as you work to build your empire. When I first started my business I was obsessed to say the least. I was constantly reading, researching, taking free classes (and some paid ones). I mean I wanted to know everything.

Constantly looking at my phone or locking myself in the home office was not healthy for my family. I have a husband, and 11 year old and a 1 year old who is attached to his mommy at the hip if I left him. So even when the Mr. wasn’t noticing my absence my little man was. Fortunately my big girl is self sufficient and into her own pre teen life.

It wasn’t until I heard the Mr. give a loud (maybe overly dramatic) sigh did I take a look up from my phone and see what was happening to my family. My little man was crying, my pre teen was not making good TV choices and the Mr. was at wits end. I knew then something had to change. I also knew I was not giving up the idea of owning my own business. I honestly believe in having it all I just know it takes work. So I implemented these practical strategies and hacks into my life,  and we seem to be in a nice groove as a family and my business is flourishing as well.

1. Protect my time and create boundaries in my life. You have to learn your own limits and learn to say no.

2. Figure out exactly what it takes to run your type of business and plan out a process. For example I know I have to create content, so I set aside a specific day and time to do this.

3. Use my time at my day job very wisely. If there is down time I try to watch a webinar there, but only after my work is done because I need those coins to continue to fund my business.

4. Learn how to live with less sleep. In order to make sure my family gets what they need from me I have some late nights and early mornings.I do not have a nanny, chef, or maid so all those duties still have to get done no matter what. This means sometimes I wake up early and sometimes I go to bed late. My family is a priority to me and I make sure they know it. Sacrificing a little sleep to make sure ALL of our needs are met is ok with me.

5. Made my husband a priority. I also started to include him in my dreams, and share more of what I was learning with him.

How do you make time for it all?

What About Hubby?? 6 Ways to Make Time for Him

I used to always think I would have more energy than I actually did. I would set these unrealistic expectations for myself. I had grand plans for after work (WHY lol). I would make a pretty to do list for after work including cooking, cleaning, playing with the kids, working on my biz, cranking out a few blog posts, then talk to and have sex with my husband.

With all the love and support my husband gives me, not to mention dealing with me and my maybe high strung emotions he deserves to be at the top of the list. Even as I make this list hubby is last. Why? My mindset was off that’s why. I justified him being last to myself by saying things like “well i have to work”, “we can’t live in filth” “the kids need me he is grown.”

The reality was I ALWAYS tired. By the time both kids went to sleep I had NOTHING left. The times I did have anything left I poured it all into my business. Let me say that starting from the bottom is not as glamorous in real life as it is in a song. There are a lot of long nights. I started to notice my husband and I were falling into the friend zone. You know speaking in passing, sharing tasks, and cuddling for sleep only.

THIS IS NOT GOOD!!!!!!!!!!

Since I believe in confronting situations head on I asked my husband how he felt and he was so sweet. He admitted he felt a little neglected (I’m sure this was an understatement) but acknowledged what I was trying to do and understood why I was so preoccupied so he did not think it was ok to complain. How sweet. The issue is I never want my husband to feel this way so things had to change.

I absolutely believe it is a wife’s job to care for her husband, and honestly I was failing. I had to really dig deep and figure some things out and it all started with me. I was so tired because I wasn’t taking care of myself. I wasnt drinking water like, I was eating crap loaded with grease and extra cheese, and not working out. So there was some internal work that had to be done. However in the meantime I did this:

1. Brought my husband in on my dreams, asked for input explained what I was doing and why. I am so sure he is over my Regina obsession, and the countless workshops I have watched but once he understood why it was better. Also he felt more like a part of my dream and not like an outsider.

2. I started flirting with my husband. That all day leading up to the big bang event at night type of flirting. I am not above sending a sext message or a naughty picture to my husband and I encourage you to do the same!

3. We implemented mandatory date night every two weeks. Life happens and we can’t always get to a restaurant or movie, or event. So if date night has to be at home it still must happen. We have indoor picnics, movie nights, cocktails whatever at home but it is a date!

4. I started planning more so there was more time. I planned for things as much as possible in advance so I could create more time.

5. Hubby got my time before the business and sometimes before the kids. This created some late nights and early mornings but a happy husband is just like a happy wife.

6. I stopped putting him last. I know it is super tempting to wait until the children go to sleep, but I swear my baby boy rarely sleeps, and no matter how many times I clean the living room baby boy dumps all the toys all over again. So in the middle of the mess I cuddle with hubby and we watch our love bump, and answer our big girls questions about...EVERYTHING LOL

It is not easy to manage the many hats I wear but wife is a hat I chose and I plan to never take it off. Most days things do not go as planned. However everyday I accomplish at least 5 of the 5 MUST do things on my list, and one of them is to spend time with my husband. I hope you do the same!