The Importance of Protecting Your Peace
“I am protecting my peace.” How many times have you heard or even said this lately? It seems peace is a hot topic (and I agree it should be) but what does it actually mean? For me, peace seems to be one of the things that mean something different for every person. I also think people have a one -dimensional ideal of peace when really peace involves your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being.
As individuals, we at times take the protection of our peace for granted. We tend to leave it until the last minute, not thinking it is essential, but in all honesty, your peace is the key to leading a healthy and goal-fulfilled lifestyle.
Often, when the necessary steps are not taken to protect one’ s peace, there is a breakdown in self-value, and as a result, personal boundaries are not set, which filters into how you relate to yourself.
Let’s spend some time discussing peace, how to protect it and why it is important.
What does it mean to have Inner Peace?
Having inner peace from a general perspective means assuming a state of calmness regardless of the varying factors that may seek to derail it. Peace is genuine happiness that is bound up in personal and deliberate effort instead of the approval of others. When you are in a state of peace, you are content. Peace is that milestone that, even in the presence of difficulties, remains constant and always hopeful by finding the light in every situation.
I think it is important to pause here and ask yourself for your own personal definition of peace. What does it mean to you? For me, it is the moments of stillness to breathe and be. Which with my job and family can be difficult to get to if I am not intentional.
The Importance of Finding and Focusing on Peace in Your Life
When you spend the time to focus on achieving peace in your life, you learn to build a more significant relationship with yourself and how you respond to things in your life. Some other great benefits of prioritizing peace in your life include:
Reduced stress levels
The ability to become more compassionate
Your response to negativity is different
Improved quality of sleep
Learn how to manage your emotions
Finding your Peace
But how do you get there? How are you able to decide what is your peace or how to even find it? Try some of the activities on the list below.
Journaling
Meditation
Nature walks
Deep Breathing
Scheduling breaks
Learning about yourself
Let go of the past
Love yourself
Let go of being judgmental
How to Protect Your Peace
Protecting your peace is important s that you can stay emotionally regulated and in a place where you feel like your best self. The following is a list of ways to make sure you are able to protect your peace.
Make time for self-care
Forgive quickly
Practice being grateful
Prioritize alone time
Worry less
Learn to accept the things you cant control
Do what makes you happy
Avoid uncomfortable situations
Respect yourself and others
Learn your triggers
Believe more than you fear
Harbor only positive thoughts
Treat yourself kindly
There are so many things that happen in the world and in our lives that are outside of our control. How we take care of ourselves and how we prioritize our peace is well within our control. I encourage you to do something daily that puts you in a place of peace. How do you protect your peace?
4 Ways to Recognize and Combat Toxic Productivity
Recently I was on a bad rollercoaster. It seemed like no matter how early I woke up or how late I went to bed I was never fully satisfied with the number of things I had done for the day. Spoiler alert I do ALOT. I have a family, friends, and a business, and I am always trying to create helpful content. There is a lot going on. All the experts say wake up earlier to have that first hour to yourself and I did that. Stay up later and clean (again I have children so cleaning is a constant) and set the tone for the next day, I did that. Even though things were being done I still felt behind and it started to impact my worth on some level. It was literally never enough. The list was always growing. The need to feel productive and accomplished had really gotten out of hand. Then it hit me. I had fallen victim to toxic productivity.
Toxic productivity is the tendency to overdo things in an effort to reach a state of satisfaction that is never really attained. The odd part is it usually looks like the person has it together. It can be easily mistaken for industriousness or extreme diligence, but it often works against the doer without their consciousness. Because the person is always looking to achieve the next thing and there is literally always the next thing. I also think a lot of us have been conditioned to achieve so it can be hard to recognize toxic productivity.
How to Recognize It
Some of the ways to recognize toxic productivity are through your attitude towards things. If you notice that you are never satisfied with what you have done, even if it meets your day’s to-dos, it could be an indication of toxic productivity. Toxic productivity prioritizes your uncontrolled urge for productivity over your well-being. You just keep on working endlessly without paying attention to your body’s need to rest. While most noticeably in your body your mental health is also impacted because you are never content with whatever you have done. Here are a few other signs to look out for:
Tendency to Work Overtime
You will find yourself developing a culture of working overtime even when it is not necessary or mandated. The things you have been able to accomplish in a day do not feel enough and you constantly want to do more than the average tasks to feel like you have done something significant.
Feelings of guilt when things are left undone
Your response to undone tasks is rather extreme compared to how the average person would react. There is a constant fear of appearing incompetent when a task is undone even when you are ahead of the original schedule. Guilt for the undone tasks is what leads to working overtime.
Ignoring Self-care
It is common to ignore the cues to take care of your body. You may be feeling very tired but your desire to do all the things makes you ignore the physical cues of being tired and needing rest.
Anxiety or Depression
Oftentimes, it is difficult to realize how much stress and pressure you are putting on yourself through toxic productivity. While most people are stressed by the expectations placed on them by others to perform, you are your own cause of stress. You rarely appreciate your achievements and instead, focus on what you have not done. The pessimistic approach to life may result in constant anxiety or depression.
Eventual Fatigue and Burnout
As much as you are feeling overly ambitious most of the time, it gets to a point where the body gives in and you are too tired to continue with the habit.
How to Combat It
So knowing all of this great but what do you do to combat it? I took a vacation. I understand from a financial place and just the obligations of life this is not always possible. However, if you can I really encourage you to take an extended break from things. The weekend just is not enough. Try a few of the following.
Recognize Your Self Worth is not Just in Your Work
I added this one first because it will more than likely be the hardest. It is going to require you to rewire your brain. You have to remember that you are more than your work. Wo you are is not where you go to work every day. Spend time doing things that are not related to work, or even money. You do not have to monetize every hobby you have.
Add Breaks
As you consider cutting down on this habit, a good place to start is to add frequent breaks so you aren’t overexerting yourself for long periods. Literally, block your calendar and take breaks, get a sip of water, and walk away from the screen (or other workplaces as you can).
Celebrate the small wins
As difficult as it may seem for you, set reasonable goals to attain so you train your mind to appreciate the little milestones you achieve. Everything you do is an accomplishment. Some are bigger than others but it is a win no matter what. Learn to celebrate the small wins along the way so you are reminded of what you have accomplished.
Set Boundaries
Resist the urge to touch on the next day’s goals even if you are idle for the remainder of your day. Go do something else.
Find Time Off
Finally, take time off your usual routines and do relaxing things like going on a vacation every now and then.
One bonus I can add to this is to create a short and recent brag list. Write 3-5 of the most recent accomplishments on a post-it note and leave it near your mirror, workstation, dresser, or wherever you will see it often as a reminder that you are doing more and better than you are giving yourself credit for. It is also important to remember every day your level best is different so do not compare what you accomplished yesterday to today because your capacity may be different.
The Seven Types of Rest We All Need
I am tired. The world is tired. It really doesn’t matter your beliefs, race, or other affiliations I am sure you are exhausted as well. The news cycle is awful, shootings, war, pandemic, inflation it is really a hot mess out here.
I keep going to sleep earlier and still waking ups just flat-out fatigued and have struggled to figure out why. Well, it hit me, maybe I am not giving myself the type of rest I need. Rest is more than sleep. According to Dr. Saundra Dalton Smith, there are seven dimensions to consider while trying to attain rest. I think most of us often focus too much on one dimension and hope to subconsciously distribute that state of rest in every other part.
To achieve the true state of rest and rejuvenation, you need to observe these seven types of rest. All of the dimensions mentioned here are interconnected, and the absence of rest in one area easily affects the others. Paying attention to and then actually observing the various types of rest will help prevent the redundant patterns of restlessness and produce better results in the long run. You are most productive when you are rested. Therefore, you should channel all the necessary energy into attaining holistic rest. Yes, you may need to focus more on attaining all seven types of rest, but you will need less energy to be effective in whatever areas you need to tackle in your life. So what are the seven different types of rest?
Physical rest
There are two types of physical rest: passive and active physical rest. Passive physical rest involves actual sleep. Active physical rest is a more restorative rest. Doing something that helps your body’s circulation and flexibility like yoga or stretching or a slower-paced walk. Physical rest allows your body to build up new energy for pending tasks.
Mental rest
The truth is your brain is constantly thinking about something. However, too much -uncontrolled thinking can leave you exhausted despite physical rest. Ever wonder why no matter how much sleep you get you never wake up refreshed? It could be you need more mental rest. Think about it like a computer… you need to close some of the active tabs on the screen and stop ruminating on things so much (within reason- stay alert at work guys!). Develop a culture of writing down those random thoughts like things you need to get done, so you don’t have pressure to keep remembering them. It will allow your mind to shut off for rest.
Sensory rest
Anything that triggers your five senses to send signals to the brain can easily overwhelm you, especially when all senses have to work simultaneously. So to get sensory rest go to a quiet place where you are not being stimulated in any way. Another option is to set a timer for things that stimulate you this your phone. Too much time being engaged in scrolling, looking etc. can be overstimulating.
Creative rest
You can easily discern the absence of creative rest when your innovative ability feels suppressed. Excuse yourself from the matter needing your creativity because it is the source of your stress. Indulge in random activities or anything that relaxes your mind. An idea should pop up while you are doing unrelated activities from what you are trying to get creative in doing.
Emotional rest
People pleasers suffer the greatest emotional torture. You are constantly putting other people’s emotions first and draining yours. You also feel restless at the thought of disappointing others. This may mean you need to set some boundaries with yourself. Teach yourself to say no or to turn down unnecessary requests so you are able to attain emotional rest. Remember, you can only give what you have.
Social rest
Each person has different types of social circles. There are the ones you easily connect with and others you feel you work too hard to entertain. Reduce the amount of time you are spending with the latter. You will attain social rest when you spend more time with your most trusted company of people or even by yourself. I tell people after work that sometimes I am peopled out a social battery is dead. This means saying no to the social outing and just being with myself or my family.
Spiritual rest
There are three dimensions to every human being, and your spirit needs constant nourishing. Most people think of religion here but it is more dependent on your own beliefs. So spiritual rest can look like prayer, meditation, or some other act that connects you to your Higher power. If you do not engage in spiritual beliefs or practices another way to get this type of rest is to have a sense of belonging with others where they feel accepted. It is all about the inter-connectedness of a relationship with others or your Higher Power.
Making sure you are nurturing yourself and ensuring you get all types of rest will help you feel more refreshed and able to tackle the tasks of your day. What type of rest do you need more of? What type of rest are you really good at getting for yourself?
Journaling for Mental Health
You know what I find so wild… journaling is so powerful and helpful and when most people think about it all they see is the dramatics of an adolescent girl. We have all seen shows where the girl is doodling in her notebook or writing about her latest crush. We had no idea how healing writing could be. The reality is journaling provides a safe and creative outlet that gives relief to our minds, while also gaining insights into who we are at our core. Depending on your belief system you could even write your way into the life you want.
Journaling is jotting down any and everything that our minds can conjure. Allowing our thoughts and emotions to attain tangibility is an excellent curator for our mental wellbeing. Journaling helps polish our perspective as well the ability to process events, much like we’re able to when sharing with a friend.
Journaling and mental health:
Most professionals and thought leaders will tell you a journaling routine is an incredibly beneficial activity for mental health. It might seem surprising that the simple act of writing down what we see, sense, and feel could heal the mind. Research provides plenty of evidence on how journaling is a viable way to help manage symptoms of mental illnesses like depression, anxiety, and even stress.
Here are a few ways journaling can help improve mental health:
It cultivates self-awareness: Take a few steps back to the claim that journaling is like conversing with a friend. Now imagine if you were able to accurately look back on these conversations, word to word; wouldn’t that help hold up an objective lens to yourself?
It encourages emotional regulation: If you journal, you'll eventually find that you're a lot more in sync with your emotions as well as your ability to process events. You will be well past the tendency of avoiding emotions that don’t feel as pretty or denying how you feel about certain circumstances.
It fosters the ability to seek help: Have you ever realized how hard it is for us to open up, admit we’re vulnerable, and ask for help? Journaling allows us to be honest with ourselves, and when we’re able to do that, being honest about our needs with others comes a little easier.
How to start journaling:
I bet you were thinking there would be some secret sauce here but there is not. Just start. Sure nice notebooks and fancy pens are great but really you need pen and paper, or even the notes app on your phone. It does not have to be extravagant you just have to start.
Opt for consistency: Journaling does not demand that you offer a certain length of words and pages, but it certainly asks for consistency. Try to journal every day, and little by little, you’ll pick up the pace as it becomes a routine. Even if you just do one line a day the point is to do it daily.
Don’t over-complicate it: Before anything else, remember that you’re only journaling for yourself and no one else. As you write, use the words and ways that feel most natural and expressive to you; there’s no need to complicate the process by trying to integrate hard words and structures. There is no grade or prize for the most eloquent journal. This is for you.
Journal however you see fit: There's no declaration of rules that dictate how journaling has to be carried out. You can write, draw, doodle, or even scribble in your journal as long as you feel that it's the perfect manifestation of whatever you want to put across. Your journal is your canvas. You can do a gratitude list, a one-line sentence of how the day went, or just write feeling words you experienced throughout the day.
Let's talk about High Functioning Depression- Dangers, Signs, and How to Manage
It is time to take the cape off and expose some things a lot of people, specifically Black women have been struggling with for a while. We are suffering in silence and the reality is a lot of us have no clue why or even what is happening. Enter high functioning depression (HFD). High-functioning depression is a form of depression not often diagnosed or identified clinically. The mood disorder is often not severe presenting enough for a depression prognosis. However, a person with this condition exhibits the symptoms of depression it just looks slightly different. The manifestation of the mental illness does not interfere with daily functioning like in major depression. Meaning internally the person understands something is going on but it is not enough for them to stay in bed.
A common clinical diagnosis for High-functioning depression is Persistent Depressive Disorder (PDD). PDD is long-term mild depression. People with this mood disorder also function well even though they have the condition. It seems that in most cases people who experience this have a push-through way of being so they can be super successful, and even appear friendly and outgoing. Think of the recent death of Cheslie Kryst who would have thought. The list does not stop there, unfortunately.
What makes HFD so scary is it lies just underneath the surface. The person is able to move and shake oftentimes having a lot of major accomplishments. There is a concept called smile depression that is often present. A person with this form of depression frequently smiles despite their low mood. The last thing we expect someone with depression to do is to smile.
The symptoms of clinical depression are usually present in HFD just in a lower dose as the person works harder to keep up their image. They may be guarded and often the symptoms are unseen by the outside world. These symptoms include tearfulness, low participation in things they once found joy in, fatigue, canceling plans consistently for not seen emergency, disturbance in sleep and or appetite, and even sad mood.
Here are some signs that you may be dealing with HFD
You feel very fatigued and struggle to do the basic things of life. Others may have described you as lazy.
In the face of a compliment, you struggle to accept it and may even find ways to criticize yourself.
Fluctuations on your weight without trying due to disturbances in your appetite.
Feelings of hopelessness even though you are seemingly accomplishing our goals.
Despite going on with your regular life and even some exciting parts of life a person with HFD can find that their energies are low throughout the day, have low concentration, feelings of despair, anger, and agitation. With all of these things bad enough to cause discomfort but not bad enough that it is recognized by the individual that they need to seek help. Often we are conditioned to just keep going always looking to the next milestone and in a state of grind that we are not in tune with our emotions and this is missed.
So how do we manage- aside from seeking help:
Acknowledge what is happening Do not try to pass it off as a phase, or something you can accomplish your way out of. Be transparent with yourself.
Get active- I am not saying complete an Iron man I am just saying move your body. The longer you lay the more you wanna lay so get up and get moving.
Make sure you are eating whole foods. There is a huge connection between nutrition and mental health
Get social even if it is just replying to a friend who has messaged you.
Just because a person is not walking around like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh or sitting alone crying missing work and dropping other obvious balls in their life does not mean they are not struggling. Depression happens on a scale, ranging in severity, and while there are common symptoms it will not look the same on everyone. People are fighting daily battles and because of social media, we really think we know someone and often we are just seeing the surface facade they have created so they can get through the day.
You can manage high-functioning depression with therapy and other mind-body-soul approaches to care. Do not go through this debilitating condition alone. Mild depression can become severe without proper treatment and care.
Resources if you need help
Prevention Hotline:
1-800-273-8255
Crisis Text Line
Text HOME to 741-741
Disclaimer- *I understand the cultural and systematic reasons Black people, again women specifically, are often misdiagnosed or brushed to the side because “it seems like you have it all together” that issue is just not the focus of this article.*